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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364905">Nicotine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetedmilk/pseuds/closetedmilk'>closetedmilk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Charlie Needs To Save Angel Dust, Drug Use, Hurt Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Assult, Possessive Behavior, Possible Triggering Content, Trauma, Valentino Being a Jerk (Hazbin Hotel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:40:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetedmilk/pseuds/closetedmilk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel Dust never believed in happiness. He never believed in freedom. It’s a joke to him.</p><p>Based on the song Nicotine by Panic! At The Disco</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nicotine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Someone said the song Nicotine was definitely a Val and Angel Dust song after the music video hype. I said you know what? Inspired oneshot.</p><p>Kill Val for Spider Baby 2020!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The club was raving. Music loud, drunk and tired bodies dancing everywhere. It had been a little more than half an hour after Angel Dust’s dance number and people were already partying as if it never happened. Oh well, they’ll pay attention to him next dance. Not that he minded. He was always someone’s momentary happiness. He didn’t matter to them unless they needed him, but once they had their fill, he was useless till the next time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Heart full of sorrows, he stumbled down the stairs that led from the dressing rooms to the main party room. Holding onto the railing, Angel desperately tried to stable himself up right from falling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the big line of cocaine he ingested, he knew he would instantly be thrown into a high very soon after. He loved it though, mostly because it would erase the depressing feelings he had just a few minutes earlier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It especially would replace that awful encounter he had with Valentino not too long ago. When he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>barely</span>
  </em>
  <span> gotten up stairs and the pimp trapped him against the vanity mirror just to use his body. Telling him things like how much of a slut he was and how hard he had gotten him during that dance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angel hated every moment of it. His body felt disgusting right after and during, it felt violated… he damned Val every time it happened but… at the same time, he felt… </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Call him sick. Call him dirty. Call him whatever you want, but while he hated those moments with Val, he knew that the man would come back around for seconds. Unlike his clients, Valentino was always there after. He made him feel important, at least close to it with how the pimp acted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kinda like a fish and the fisherman. The fisherman hooking the poor fish on his line and reeling it in before allowing it to swim away before reeling it in again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over and over and over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While the spider was tired of the same tango every night, what else did he have going for him? Who else did he have?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie? The hotel? Fat chance… it would only be a short time before they get tired of him as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally down the steps, he closed his eyes as the music playing loudly through the speakers penetrated his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cross my heart and hope to die</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Burn my lungs and curse my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I've lost control and I don't want it back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm going numb, I've been hijacked</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's a fucking drag</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything seemed to turn into slow motion as he made his way over to the bar. The demons around him danced, jumping up and down to the rhythm slowly in his mind. The happiness on their face disgusted him, making his throat burn with a raising bile he instantly swallowed down. This was hell and he certainly knew that with the unhappiness he felt… they should feel the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck them. He hated them… he hated himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I taste you on my lips and I can't get rid of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting onto the stools in front of the bar, he pointed at a bottle of vodka and wordlessly demanded it from the bartender, who complied with no problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angel desperately wanted to drown in the alcohol, bathe himself in and erase the feeling of Valentino against him. The haunting memory of having the man inside him. The humanity he held deep within him cried at the thought of it but the sick side of him craved for more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I say damn your kiss and the awful things you do</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're worse than nicotine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're worse than nicotine</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking long chugs of the burning liquid, Angel watched as the demons all lived up the night. Laughing and causing a chaos of irresponsibility and regrettable decisions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh to be as free as them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his lips curl up into a sad smile, the thought of freedom being funny as it seemed fake to him. Something he’s never had yet always wanted. Silly of him to think he would get it after death.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Laughter escaping his mouth, coming out drunkenly and lazy as his back leaned against the bar and his head dipping back. He closed his eyes slowly, the blinding strobe lights becoming a blurry mess as his eyelids dropped lower and lower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's better to burn than to fade away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's better to leave than to be replaced</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm losing to you, baby, I'm no match</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm going numb, I've been hijacked</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's a fucking drag</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to fucking kill Val. He wanted the man to suffer the way he made him. He hated him so much. Steal his freedom and prove to himself that such a thing existed. Those thoughts quickly faded away as his laughter echoed in his ears louder than the music, a maniac is what he sounded like. Not because he was momentarily losing his mind, but because such talk of stealing freedom was nothing but a joke he so stupidly wanted to take seriously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just one more hit and then we're through</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause you could never love me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cut every tie I have to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause your love's a fucking drag</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe he should just give up on it all. Maybe he should just allow his humanity to be let go once and for all. Allow everything Val did to him to be ok in his</span>
</p><p>
  <span>mind, to take in everything the moth said to him and not care how it would affect him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Angel snapped out of his thoughts and looked towards the stairs, his laughter stopped as his eyes set on the giant, pink coat wearing demon. He swallowed hard and felt his heart skip beats, but not in what you would call for love, but rather a fearful dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man smiled widely at him and walked towards him, a couple of girls behind him following like lost puppies. No doubt they felt the way he did once, but looks like they let go of whatever standards they held for themselves to get comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Valentino grabbed the bottle and set it down on the bar top. He wrapped an arm around Angel and leaned down, “Come on Angie. It’s time to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Physically hesitant to move with the moth, Angel hissed as he felt a clawed hand dig into his side. Gripping him possessively as Val urged him to move forward with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just one more hit and then we're through</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause you could never love me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cut every tie I have to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause your love's a fucking drag</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Allowing his mind to go blank, Angel sighed heavily before looking up to the pimp and smiled widely, his eyelids drooped low and his grin looking as pathetic as ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever ya say, Mista Valentino.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're worse than nicotine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're worse than nicotine</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind slowly drifted to Charlie and the hotel. How they tried to show genuine care for him and how they were probably waiting for him to come back home. ThT was </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Angel knew it was despite what he says. Deep down in his head, he really did believe that was his chance at everything he longed for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too bad he was too afraid of losing the easy life he had now for something he was far too tired to work for already. Val was easy. Sure, he had to get fucked over in so many ways for it, but it was guaranteed to be there right after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck the happiness, right?</span>
</p>
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